(Host) For many parents, the holidays offer an irresistible opportunity
to provide career guidance to their sons and daughters. The challenge,
according to commentator and former career adviser Skip Sturman, is how to get college students to "hear you now and believe you later."
(Sturman)
I recently came across an article I wrote almost twenty years ago. It
was directed towards parents who were about to welcome their college
students home for the holidays. The article offered some tips on how to
talk to students about career decision-making.
At the time, I
was working as a private career consultant, having also served as
Director of Career Services at Dartmouth College. Then as now, the
country was slowly recovering from a serious recession and competition
was stiff for entry-level jobs.
So, with the hope that those
pearls of wisdom shared long ago, still remain timely – and with the
knowledge that students turn first to their parents for career advice – I
resurrect the following thoughts:
First, some of the least
helpful words a parent can utter this holiday season – or any time for
that matter – are, "You’re going to do what?" It’s important to remember
what it’s like to be 18 to 22. How many of us knew what we were best
suited for at that age?
By all means, practicality is important ,
especially if there are student loans to be repaid. But peer pressure
already does a fine job of touting practicality. The "p" word most
children long to hear from their parents is "permission", if need be, to
make their own mistakes.
And contrary to popular belief, most
young adults are not making lifetime decisions at age 22. At best, they
are making two or three year decisions . Early exposure to a variety of
work settings and early development of marketable skills – especially
through internships – may lead to solid decisions come graduation time.
Think
small, not in terms of aspirations but in terms of timetables. It’s
often disconcerting for students and parents alike to view the future as
the Great Void. The best approach may be to have both sides engage in
short-term goal setting. Establish some three-, six- or nine-month
career planning goals that can begin during sophomore or junior year.
Introduce
the big picture. Students often get so caught up in the chase to find
work or get into graduate school that they forget what makes them tick.
Timely reminders from parents that "you have always hated working
indoors" or "you don’t do well with deadlines" may be just the right
reality check when tempting opportunities come to light.
Try to
forget what it was like to be job-hunting 20 or 30 years ago. The rules
have changed and parents may do their son or daughter a disservice if
they insist on harkening back to the days when they were pounding the
pavement.
One thing that has dramatically changed is the variety
of career planning services now available on most college campuses.
Encouraging the use of these services well before senior year may be the
most supportive role a parent can play in easing the post-college
transition.