(HOST) Three more Vermont combat deaths in Afghanistan, a film about the fighting there and a book about soldiers during the Iraqi surge recently led commentator Bill Mares to a church workshop on how to help returning war veterans.
(MARES) Recently, in the basement of St. Andrew’s Episcopal Church in Colchester, three dozen people gathered to learn how to help returning National Guard veterans re-adjust to a society at peace they left to go to war. The group also included clergy, social workers, National Guard personnel, one parent of a deployed soldier and members of the parish, I among them.
This was the seventh of ten workshops around Vermont led by chaplains from the Veterans Administration and the Vermont National Guard. Rev. Joseph O’Keeffe of the V.A. called the re-adjustment process a chair with four legs – physical, mental, social, and spiritual.
He said, "Over 200 years we have trained solders to fight against fearsome foes. We have not learned how to de-program them to live again in a peaceful world."
O’Keeffe went on: "Combat strips away the soldiers’ innocence, especially in a war like this without frontlines and without time off."
The presentation was in vivid contrast to the post-Vietnam experience, when many soldiers came home to open hostility for a hated war. O’Keeffe and Rev. James MacIntyre stressed that civilians should separate their feelings about the war from those for the veterans.
When a program called "Beyond the Yellow Ribbon" urged parishes to become "military-friendly" it meant to regard members of the military as we would any other distressed population in our parish; to treat the family of a deployed soldier as we would any other family in temporary crisis.
Through slides and discussion of real and hypothetical situations, we learned about the cycle cycle soldiers endure in a combat zone – threat of death or injury to themselves, grief for the death of a comrade, the inner moral conflicts about taking life, and the long-term fatigue of battle.
One slide focused on "8 Battlefield Skills that make Life in the Civilian World Challenging." In battle one’s focus is on personal safety, trusting a tight group of buddies, making instant decisions and keeping all your emotions bottled up inside. As one speaker said, "There’s not a lot of group therapy in combat."
Speakers gave the audience real situations to ponder. For example, "A 27-year old returning veteran won’t go to a family picnic without a side-arm." After nervous laughter swept the room, the group got down to analyzing what would make a veteran act this way and how could his family and friends steer him or her away from such behavior.
"Don’t judge," said O’Keefe. "Be there and walk with that veteran. Avoid assumptions and just listen very carefully to what they say."
Valarie Pallotta, a St. Andrews parish member whose son Josh is now deployed in Afghanistan, has been volunteering with National Guard support groups the last six months. She calls the other parents she meets, my "Battle Buddies for life." She is now ready to persuade our parish to become veteran friendly, perhaps with an "Adopt a Veteran program."
Despite my grave doubts about the wisdom of these wars, I happily joined Valarie’s crusade to make our parish more welcoming toward the returning soldiers whom we sent off to fight.
(TAG) You can find more commentaries by Bill Mares at VPR-dot-net.