(HOST) Commentator Willem Lange is determined to eliminate the use of a nasty bit of punctuation.
(LANGE) Some years ago I wrote deploring the use of a common bit of punctuation, and thought the force of my argument would eliminate it. But no soap; it’s at least as common today as it was then. So once more into the breach!
We’re all familiar with the effect upon a sentence of an interrogation point: a rising inflection at the end which makes it a question. An exclamation point adds punch to a sentence. The Spanish place them at the beginning of a question or exclamation so we’ll know in advance what’s coming.
What I have in mind is a conjunction called a commabut. It’s not in any book of grammar or usage, and doesn’t show up in any transcription of spoken English. Unlike the Spanish, we use them in sneak attacks. To warn folks that one’s coming would be inconsistent with its intent.
Commabuts are used to end complete sentences and introductory clauses contrary to fact; to whit, lies or hopeful rationalizations. They’re invariably followed by a dissonant statement (express or implied) more accurately reflecting the speaker’s true sentiments.
The commabut causes a sentence to end in the air, like one shoe falling. Listening, you realize uncomfortably that it hasn’t really ended. There’s another shoe still to drop, and it may hurt.
A geeky, but nice high school kid helps a girl with her math because he wants to take her to the prom. Finally, after she’s passed a trig quiz thanks to his coaching, he pops the question. It’s time for a commabut! "Stuart," she says in an anguished tone, "I’m very fond of you. I like you a lot,…" comma… but…
There it is. That second shoe is going to break poor Stuart’s heart. The pity is, she knew the question was coming, and if she’d known how much her answer would hurt, she’d have headed it off. Instead, she retreated to a commabut, usually a coward’s weapon.
That was an easy one. Sometimes the second half of the statement is a paragraph or even whole pages later. It takes practice and healthy skepticism to catch the sophisticated ones. It’s easier if you know where to look. They’re abundant in the arguments of intelligent and articulate people with something to gain, lose, conceal, avoid, or justify.
At a meeting in a "Vermont leisure living community," the developer addresses the fact that his housing will destroy a deer wintering yard. "Let’s get this straight," he says. "I’m as sensitive to the environment as anyone,…" comma… but…
In the debates over gay marriage, I often detect commabuts. Few of us who are not gay can appreciate the importance of this issue to those who are – whose lives are in the hands of others, because others are in the majority. How they must feel when a dark-suited, sober-faced member of that majority intones, "I am not a homophobe,…" comma… but…
It’s the commabut that kills you.
This is Willem Lange in East Montpelier, and I gotta get back to work, comma… but…