(HOST) Commentator Susan Cooke Kittredge is a minister, and the daughter of the late journalist Alistair Cooke. She says the Wikileaks controversy is forcing her to make a few disclosures of her own.
(KITTREDGE) Two weeks ago I was tired of WikiLeaks; then, as Julian Assange’s supporters launched cyber attacks on major corporations, I got angry and a little nervous. But the fact remains that, to me, the release of all that information is, in the vernacular, TMI – too much information. And it’s also a little tiresome.
On the positive side: in the future people may be more careful in what they say and where they say it. This might even herald the return of face-to-face conversations, since both the written word and telephone conversations are now apt to be incriminating evidence. But the simple exposure of alleged wrongdoing does not, in and of itself, solve problems. In the end, wrongs are righted in relationships, by working through issues together, as individuals, families, communities and nations.
While I believe in honesty and integrity in all walks of life, I also have a humble appreciation for the complexity of human relationships. This applies to my most intimate encounters as well as my view of international diplomacy. Diplomacy, as defined by Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary is: "the art and practice of conducting negotiations between nations" and "skill in handling affairs without arousing hostility: tact."
All relationships require a kind of pas de deux, a give and take, a careful and measured understanding of the movements and inclinations of one’s partners. This is no doubt as true in international relations as it is in families. If I’m having a struggle with a member of my family, I try my best to be considerate and restrained and attentive. But when he or she is out of the room, I’m apt to scream and say things I can’t repeat here. Do we really expect that this isn’t true in negotiations between nations when tensions are unimaginably high and what’s at stake may be nothing short of the future of the planet?
We don’t program robots to conduct diplomatic negotiations; robots aren’t great at tact and dances of quivering delicacy. Instead, we send into the fray people whom we trust will act on our behalf with grace and integrity. Richard Holbrooke comes quickly to mind. Do they stumble and explode and, off the record – wait, that’s not possible anymore is it? But did they let their hair down in private? I hope so.
Believe it or not, there are things I don’t want to know. Most of the time I don’t want to know what people are saying about me behind my back. I actually didn’t want to know what my teenage kids were doing every minute. I don’t want to know every thought that crosses my husband’s mind, really. And I honestly don’t care what some Under Secretary quipped about someone.
I want to trust those who try and secure a just and peaceful world, and I’m reluctant to dismiss them for their humanity. Instead, I’m grateful for their efforts to address the current situation by talking with other leaders and endeavoring to affirm tender and volatile relationships both publicly and – yes – in private, too.