(Host) Commentator Peg Devlyn tells the story of how mentoring is an important key to a child’s success.
(Devlyn) There’s a child I know who has a special struggle every year at this time. What is happening to him now is important to every Vermonter who cares about children, our own and those in our schools and communities. What happens to him is sad, and it can be changed.
Tyler started the school year in September full of hope and new energy. So did his teachers and his parents. This year would be better ยฟ a fresh start. This is a child who learns differently from other kids his age.
So last fall, the special educator at his school worked with him, his teachers and parents to create an Individual Education Plan ยฟ his IEP, as it’s called. This is how it works. The child has a battery of psychological and intelligence tests. His problems and shortcomings are identified and discussed. Tyler can’t read. His math is fine and he has a talent for music.
But this work focuses on his weaknesses. Expectations for his education are changed. He might receive remedial help, tutoring, special classes. Everyone on his team shares the goal of helping Tyler succeed in reading. They do their best. But the team’s focus is on his deficits.
But Tyler has other problems. He feels bad. Some of the kids call him names like "stupid" and "retard." He knows he’s different. He’s angry at his tormentors, but he believes them. He acts out in class and in the school yard. More meetings. A behavior modification plan. More attention to Tyler’s growing list of problems.
Here’s what Tyler doesn’t have on his team. He doesn’t have that one adult who is his champion, his friend. That person who believes in him, who sees his strengths and encourages them. Call him a mentor. This adult can be a healer for a young person who is hurting. Some child development experts say the greatest single factor in a child’s eventual success is an adult who believes in him or in her.
Dennis McBee, director of the South Burlington New Directions mentoring program, has been studying the research. He told me, “Children need relationships with adults that are outside the family, friendships that are asset-based rather than deficit based. We match mentors and children with shared interests .”
Mentoring children is a growing movement, usually sponsored by schools and community organizations. Many of the children seeking mentors are from single-parent families. Some employers have started releasing employees for weekly mentoring time, and this is a new and enjoyable activity for some people in retirement. A mentor could make a lifelong difference for Tyler and other struggling children, whether or not they are special education students. This school year could end with a new beginning as more of us make room in our lives for friendship with a child.
Peg Devlyn is co-owner of Marketing Partners, Inc. in Burlington, Vermont.