(Host) At this time of year we are awash with visions of sugarplums.
Commentator Stephanie Greene has an idea for enjoying the season without
the remorse.
(Greene) Candy must be the most nostalgic of foods, loaded with emotional symbolism.
How
else can you explain the sugar blitzkrieg of the Holiday season?
Normally sane people suddenly think it’s a great idea to order a fifty
dollar gingerbread house, complete with frosting filled gutters and
gumdrop festooned roof. Peppermint bark, cookies, caramel marshmallows –
the parade of pricey edibles from the world over is stupefying. Yet
somehow, you want it all.
In simpler times, the available indulgence was limited.
My
grandmother loved a Christmas confection called Ribbon candy that lay
in its box in beautiful, fragile, striped ruffles. My mother adored
Satin Pillows, which were pink, filled with peanut butter and stuck to
your teeth like superglue. My husband’s grandmother spent the last five
of her 96 healthy years living – as far as we could tell – on peanut
butter cups she insisted were for the paperboy.
There’s an
undeniable chemical component to all this. Nutritionists have been
telling us for years that sugar is more drug than food. Its effect on
blood chemistry is well documented, it produces a swoon of beta
endorphins, a spike in insulin and all kinds of tumult.
I hate to be a party pooper, but we are out of control, and the results are indigestion, calories, cavities and worse.
So here’s my next big idea: open a candy museum.
That way we can get our nostalgia hit without having to wear its results.
It
would be like visiting the Christmas windows at Bergdorfs or Macy’s – a
visual rather than a gustatory thing. We could have serious fun with
this: Each generation would get its own display.
Human history
being what it is, we could go back to the Native American genius who discovered maple
syrup. On to the first of date palms in
Mesopotamia , to the discovery of cane sugar and molasses and on to
Queen Elizabeth the First’s infamous tooth decay.
We could have a
wing devoted to national candy – Mexican dulce de leche, Swiss and
Belgian chocolates, American jelly beans, Turkish Delight.
We
could call in guest curators. Imagine the debates over the relative
merits of red or black licorice, or the Jersey shore origins of
Saltwater Taffy!
America ‘s regional candies would be
represented, as well. For example, Necco Wafers and Sky Bars are native
to New England , while the Idaho Spud is a actually a misshapen
marshmallow rolled in cocoa and coconut. California has its Gold
Nuggets, Kansas City its Valomilks and Kentucky its Blue Mondays.
Imagine
the controversy of a Ten Worst Halloween Candies exhibit-the kind that
stay in the bag for a month before they are summarily tossed.
But wait – maybe all this stimulation wouldn’t satisfy the museum-goer, and would in fact, backfire, big time.
We might even have to break down and have a small but well – appointed gift shop.